Shocking News: The YOUnity Reviewers Guild Votes for Keith Olbermann and Best Media

DisilgoldSOUL, USA- (August 25th) Keith Olbermann is voted as best media by the YOUnity Reviewers Guild of America. He’s not Black or Hispanic, but it seems like more YGA members tune in to the slapstick style entertainment and news show with guest journalists and television personalities as Bob Costas, a respected tv personality and at extreme ends, Mo Rocca, the guy with the larger than life myoptic frames who appears to be serious reporting on issues, but if you listen, he’s as hilarious as hell. There are more guests from shows like on Soup tv. I think it’s a clever show. Why not invite other tv personalities to speak on issues?

Well, I decided to tune in and develop a little journalistic skit of my own as if I was interviewed by Keith Olbermann, who is definitely a side-splitting liberal whose issues are as nilly willy as a Groundhog peeping out on Groundhog’s Day. It’s celebrity-filled jargon so brace yourself. These issues once witnesed by media are going to create a sound-off, but noone can find me. All of my sites are unlisted so just grin and bear. This is as honest as it gets.

Olbermann: How do you feel about Lindsey Lohan getting out of jail in 82 minutes?

Heather: Well, reports say she got a minute for every pound. She’s way too fragile to go to jail and not a threat to anyone, but herself. These stars need mandatory counseling sentences, not jail time and unless they are driving. Brittney Spears should not have been released for speeding with her dancers. That is an insult for the number of shrines I see on the streets of the Grand Concourse her in Bronx when driving for dead pedestrians hit at night due to speeding vehicles. There is no could have, would have should of. Brittney deserves time in jail. And as far as her dog being found with a cast. That is one irresponsible child whose stardom has gone to her head. First, she almost snapped her baby’s head back trying to dodge paparazzi. Brittney is a violation of celebrity protocol and if MTV lets her host the show instead of Ryan Seacrest, I am not tuning in. Don’t insult me with a media guru who is loving every moment of her fame and shenanigans. I bet she’s paying media and the courts to build her career because simply, she can afford it. I bet they all sat at a round table and said, now here is how we are going to do this with a publicity stunt specialist who recruits real live folks from all walks of life to participate. They all get fame and fortune when all is done. Look how everyone associated with Brittney have become famous overnight. It’s a media conspiracy. You see Brittney really could never sing. This has been a whole plot all along. There are people who get paid big bucks to create paparazzi stars. Years from now we will realize that Brittney never had any talent.

Olbermann: What do you feel about celebrities pleading guilty for lesser sentences?

Heather: They are fools. You never plead guilty to something you did not do. You accept the sentence and be a man or woman. God will get you out of there if you are innocent. You have to have faith. Even if you accept a plea bargain, this opens up the door for everyone to sue you like in the case of O.J. because if you did do what you did, you need to compensate folks. Hollywood ain’t for everyone baby. (Jay-Z homage in song with Beyonce, “Hollywood.”)

Olbermann: What about Mike Vick?

Heather: What about him? I respect the man. He told the truth. Dog fighting is a culturally accepted ritual among gangsters and even  hunters all around the country. It’s nothing new, and not nearly half as cruel as how white slave owners beat the shit out of enslaved blackmen against their will. For the black men who do it, they equate these dogs to vicious slavemasters internally. They are afraid of their success, so dog fighting is the only way for they to see and tackle their fears. It’s a mental thing. Trust, noone would want a vicious Pit Bull or any dog born to kill. Many are euthenized when their masters have no use for them or they attack their owners. It’s either that or a dog fighting ring kennel. There are millions of dogs. Even if you got one as a pet, it would eventually give you a piece of its mind and attack you. I know this as a fact. And- they have lock jaw. That means when they crunch they have got to bite down threw the bone or they can’t open up their mouths.  It starts off with 1-3 dogs. Your friends feed the animal in you. You feel like somebody even if you feel like you’re nobody. You got friends around who are betting on making money off of animals fighting instead of begging you for your money. Sheez, what a way to keep friends around. Folks make their money, comraderrie, the parties, the women and fast life ensue. It becomes a dark and sacred world of immortal soldiers who find comfort away from their rigurous lives to be in such sport of something they are not really in control. However, the dogs give them that vicarious control. Folks in the country use to have cock fights and like noone says anything when precious rabbits and cute furry mice are thrown into snake cages at the zoo. I mean let’s not all beat up of the darkest and ugliest black man on the planet. Now you know I don’t mean that, but this is how I am internalizing the treatment of Michael Vick. He is a star football player. Those same people booing him would have a vicious dog slaughtered if it killed one of their family members, God forbid. I just feel that there is too much hate against Michael. Okay, he led dog fights. He walks real cocky. However, you can’t take away that he is the baddest ass dresser to walk into courts, has smooth flawless skin, holds his head up high and unlike these spoiled little brat divas in Hollywood crying for less than 30 days in jail, he accepted his punishment as a criminal. His crime was letting his friends feed the monster in him.  I think he would be far better off doing community service and funding a dog kennel for abused animals. If anything, he exposed a crime that many kids in the Bronx who have their animals fight all of the time, don’t even know it’s a crime. And- I am going to catch that man on his bike I see everyday who rides around with his pit bull chained to his bike and a weight around his neck for miles. That ain’t right.

The dogs that fight in the ring are born to kill. They are not your cute little pets. Folks, when a man in Harlem had one of those dogs that snapped its leash and started playfully darting toward me, I knew to jump on top of a car. Forget the skirt or heels. When the man noticed this from the bodega he was in, he ran out and thanked me whole heartedly because the dog will attack people. I said thank you too, and now get your dog out of here please, because I had for surely called the police while waiting comfortably on top of someone ride.

Now what I don’t condone are other animals being tossed in these rings for prize meat.  So to add to injury, I think his team mates should give him a good ass kicking when he returns to the NFL. The NFL president did the right thing for suspending him because he will be in jail for a year or two anyway. This is responsible, and by then, he’ll be back as a changed man filled with humility and humbleness. He’ll also, be one of the greatest quarterbacks off all time. If you watch dogs fight, you keep that menatility of a warrior. That’s why men in sports like dog fighting. One mistake and your neck could be snapped or broken. It is , I REPEAT… FOOTBALL is the most dangerous sport on the planet because it involves unpredictable collision. There is a scene in my book entitled Tekila Nika that expresses a scene of a fatal incident. All that I know is that these men have nightmares at times. They also, have somuch money that they keep these dogs around, and nothing is better to them than having their friends see for themselves what kind of dogs they have so the word will get around for folks to stay off your property if uninvited. A lot of these sportsplayers have been attacked, and it is a constant struggle for them because they are loaded and don’t know who to trust. By no means did Michael Vick need the money or have to partake in any gambling. I think the world should forgive his sins as much as they should be able to equate the cruelty bestowed upon slaves. Now don’t tell me the world has more passion for vicious dogs than human life.

Olbermann: What do you think about ….

Heather: Think? Don’t ask me what I think. Ask me what I know. Don’t insult me like that. (Walking off the set) 🙂

Visit for more news on literary celebrities who NEVER GET IN TROUBLE!

By prqueen Posted in Uncategorized Tagged

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s